I Am a Salmon
RRamsey Books, Inc.
$2.95 (sticky pages)
A gripping novel of suspense and poignancy that follows the short, bitter life of Ted, a coho salmon who is accidentally released, not into the wild, but into a bowl of White Lightning whiskey after a raucous party at the United States Geological Service. Ted's adventures take him from Colorado's Durango River Canyon to Iquitos, Peru, where he helps save ancestral tribal lands from clear-cutting developers before being served in a delicious butter-and-viniagrette sauce, with a side of potatoes.
On the way, Ted gets involved in a hilarious case of mistaken identity when he is mixed up with a walleye pike who has been stuffed with half a million dollars' worth of cocaine. As a result, Ted must elude a corps of scaler-toting Mafiosi, police from eleven nations, and Elton John -- not to mention Daphne, a free-spirited mackerel who'll do anything to hook her man, even if she's the bait!
The book is reminiscent of I Am a Camera, Christopher Isherwood's celebrated memorial of pre-war Berlin, as well as Natsume Soseki's classic I Am a Cat, in that the titles are passingly similar. Readers may also be reminded of Jim Carroll's The Basketball Diaries, although Mr. Ramsey admits that he is neither a heroin addict nor capable of hitting a baseline jumper from the left side.
Mr. Ramsey, whose other books include Tuesday Afternoons with Tuna, Trout Fishing in Peru, A Farewell to Fins and For Christ's Sake Buy This Friggin' Book You Cheapskates, Do You Want to Spend Your Whole Lives Waiting for Downloads, works full-time as a transient.