(The Doyle Owl is this, um, ugly statuette of an owl that has for decades been an object of irreverence at Reed College. It is generally kept hidden by one group of students or another until a surprise showing is made, at which point other groups of students attempt to capture it. No one knows why this is so. As a certified College Hijink, however, this ritual may have spared the life of many a goldfish that would otherwise be swallowed by underclassmen.)