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Jobs at UnDrownIt

At UnDrownIt, we believe that great is good, faster is better, and doing the most is the best.  We're a fast-paced, dynamic team that believes in hard work, hard play, and even harder work.  We offer a fun, dynamic, fast-paced environment where you'll have the opportunity to learn from and serve the best.  We don't have an "open-door" policy; we don't have any doors.  Or windows.  Or ventilation.  Or bathrooms.  But if hard work, great apps, Foosball, and Mountain Dew are your thing, you just might be our thing.

Current opportunities:

Staff Visionary
As Staff Visionary, you'll work to fully empower and leverage the full futuring of the corporate vision sequence, from conception to inception, helping to create thruway paths to further the development of open-gate methodologies and 360-degree perception matrices.  You'll have critical input into the company's mission-critical self-partnering relationships, including UnDrownIt's Strategic Tone Messaging Database. 

A minimum of four years' experience having visions is required for this position. 

Technology Visionist
You'll work as a key building-block and Critical Function Cog (CFC) in the Corporate Informationing Deployment Initiative, with responsibility for the onboarding and dogfooding of double-wing non-topical morphologies and bio-formative exo-nuclear transmatter imaging cabriolets, prepubescent flensing nocturnal frangible cornhusker feernap quemqualt speenum. 
Visionist Intern
You'll work with the Staff Visionary and Technology Visionary to further leverage potentialities and create new linkages, while also integrating existing, pre-leveraged potentialities and old linkages.  This is an unpaid position for an recent college graduate with very low self-esteem. 

To apply, please email your resume to jobs@undrownit.com.

UnDrownIt is an equal-opportunity employer.  Please, no girls or Negroes. 

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 © 2014 Mateo Burtch